Ok, so this one time at band camp…..

There is a dog and a cat at my house. Neither are technically mine but they end up sucking up to me nonetheless. I must have sucker for pets scent on me or something. They say animals can smell fear, bullshit, they can smell an ole softie that they can manipulate  into giving them treats. Hey, look how cute I am, I think that deserves a treat..whadda say?? Add the full puppy dog eye treatment, or the nobody loves me look a cat can pull off and yeah, I crumble under the weight of their cuteness and invariably give in. The dog is an outside dog and the cat ( despite her best efforts ) is an inside cat. They’ve seen each other through the back door but don’t really interact with each other.

In the words of Ron White, I told ya that story so I could tell you this story.

One day we all get the idea of trying to make the dog an inside dog. She deserves to be in the house with her pack, she just has a little problem with forgetting to remind someone when she needs to go outside, so she tends to guard the house from the outside. So we give her a bath and bring her in the house. The one concern I had in the back of my mind was that something would go wrong and we’d soon be rushing the cat to the vet for emergency surgery or something. With that in mind we all made sure to keep an eye on both of the animals until they got used to each other. In retrospect, I really didn’t have anything to worry about, but I didn’t know that at the time.

The cat has noticed the intruder in the house, sized itself up compared to the size of the intruder and quickly determined reconnaissance from a distance was the prudent move. It perched itself on various spots to observe the intruder and formulate a plan. Meanwhile the dog, god love her but she is totally retarded but makes up for it with her cuteness. I’ve seen her out in the yard playing with her toys, she’ll be killing this or that toy and chasing after it, when all of a sudden she’ll stop, look around as if she forgot what she was doing and wander off to do something else. So while the cat is in full recon mode, the dog , oblivious to the presence of another animal is gleefully running around the house. Rolling around on the floor, coming over to all of us and licking us as if to say, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done in the past, thanks, you guys are so cool!!!! You’re like the bestest humans in the whole world.

After awhile things calmed down, the cat realized that this gigantic furry intruder wasn’t too much of a threat and began to walk around the house doing her cat things. Remember when I said all of my concerns were unnecessary? Well, the dog and the cat had been pretty much avoiding each other and just doing their own things. I was standing in the kitchen by the center island. Out of the corner of my eye I notice the cat coming towards me on one side of the island and the dog coming towards me from the other side. I quickly did the math and realized the both of them would surprise each other right when they got to me. Sure enough they both turned the corner at the same time and were suddenly face to face with each other. I thought to myself, oh shit, this is it… Logan, the dog lowered her head to sniff the cat, completely clueless to how it looked to the cat (remember I said she was retarded ) Roxanne , the cat , figuring this was the end, went in for the attack. Before I could do anything, the cat popped the dog square in the nose. Logan jumped back with this very confused/hurt look on her face. She looked up at me with this..”WHAT? what did I do” look on her face. It was all I could do to not fall on the floor laughing, the cat had just laid down the law of the house. This was HER house, the dog could stay but she was in charge. Needless to say, Logan made sure to steer clear of the cat from then on.

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Humor:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s